Miscarriage Yet Again!

Well, I am currently going through my fourth miscarriage.  Not a situation in which I want to be a pro or expert, but here I am again becoming more of an expert and pro on losing a baby...So as you can see from my last posting, my pregnancy was not doing well from the very beginning.  The Hcg levels never rose appropriately and it appeared that being on progesterone was just prolonging the inevitable.  I can say at least it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy!  When I found out it was not ectopic, I was soooo relieved...whew!  Of course, the doctor followed up that news with stating that the pregnancy still didn't look viable but to wait and see.  Yet more waiting!  But, by that point my hubby and I were preparing for a miscarriage and holding on to minimal hope.  There was a sense of comfort in being prepared for the worst being that it would protect our fragile emotions.  That was about two weeks ago.  The day before the final ultrasound, I started to spot.  I pretty much knew miscarriage was in my future.  The ultrasound the next day confirmed it.  There had been no growth in two weeks and no heart beat.  It measured at 5weeks and I should have been at 7weeks 5days.  When the doctor confirmed this, I did not have any emotion nor did my hubby.  We were prepared.  It was really a matter of fact scenario for us and that was completely fine with me.  What freaked me out was the doctor's recommendation that I jumpstart the actual miscarriage by the weekend using Cytotec...I had never used it and by the info I received I don't want to use it!  Luckily, I started having the cramping and bleeding this morning.  Yet, another sigh of relief!  I never would have thought I would welcome a miscarriage.  So far the cramping and bleeding is manageable.  I haven't had to take too much pain medication.  I'm supposed to get a Hcg test done on Friday morning to see if the levels are dropping.  If they aren't, then my doctor will make me use the Cytotec!  Hope it all goes well!