It just recently dawned on me the other day that I am pretty clueless about what to expect from here on out. As I've mentioned before, this is all new territory for me. All the changes and sensations that my body is experiencing is a daily process of newness and mystery for me. Granted that can be exciting, but it's also a bit nerve-wrecking as I'm not always sure of what's going on...Is this normal? Is something wrong? What is that change that is going on with me?! As I am a person that always has to know what is going on and what to expect, this hasn't been a thrilling experience at times. So, to deal with the uncertainty, I will research and ask questions. It can be helpful, but it can also lead to more uncertainty and questions. Craziness.
As part of this clueless feeling, the actual planning of the newborn has led to much awareness that I don't know much about newborns. If AJ were a young child or an adolescent, I would know exactly how to prepare and what things I would need. But a newborn? Definitely not my area of expertise! I do realize that this is a normal feeling that many first time parents go through and I also know that I will learn some things through educating myself more and through the experience of it. Nevertheless, it really is an uncomfortable feeling to feel clueless and unprepared at this point.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
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