Week 37: The Waiting Game is Almost Over

Wow, I cannot believe I am here.  Week 37!  He's officially considered full-term!  I can tell you that I never thought I could get this far and now here I am....What a blessing!  All the heartache, disappointment, frustration, numerous doctors visits and diagnostic tests, all the poking and prodding is about to pay off finally.  And I would do it all again in a heartbeat!  In retrospect, looking at all we've been through, I can honestly say I am grateful for this journey...It has taught me so much about life, love, and human will.  I don't think I would've appreciated this pregnancy or the prospect of parenthood without it.  It's interesting how life's trials and challenges can be the best teachable experiences.

Well, I am now very excited to see and hold my son....BUT, also quite nervous about labor and delivery.  It's the unknown that is most anxiety-provoking as can be most unknowns.  I've read all the info on it, I've heard the stories, but I know that for each woman it is different and, therefore, I don't know how it will be for me.  I can only take solace in knowing that I will get through it, that I have a great coach (my hubby), and that I get to be a mother....

I was just taken off Lovenox and baby aspirin  a few days ago.  That is kinda scary to not have that  peace of mind for the rest of the pregnancy.  But, I am at a very low risk for any complications and it actually benefits me to be off of these blood thinners so that I can have an epidural (God forbid that I was denied that luxury and had to bear the pain).

Yes, there is that side of me that does remain cautious...He's not in my arms safe and sound yet.  And knowing my past experience of having something precious taken away from me, I can't help but be cautious.  I can only remain hopeful and positive that all will be well at this point.... 

Week 30: Movement, Tests, & Illness

Well, being in the third trimester certainly has been a roller coaster for me so far.  First, I can't believe how much the boy moves.  He moves now throughout the day.  Whether I am in bed, at work in a meeting, in session with a client, or relaxing he is oh so active.  It is great to know how alive and well he is doing.  But, it doesn't come without some painful jabs and pushes. I find myself pleading with him to give mommy a break sometimes so that I can rest.  Yet, the comforting thought is that he is alive and well!

I have also been introduced to the glucose tests during this trimester.  I started out with the glucose challenge test.  I had heard of the unpleasant experiences of some women who have aken this test so I was not looking forward to it.  but, being the good patient that I am, I reminded my doctor of the need for this test and so she ordered it for me.  To my surprise, it was an easy test!  The glucose drink was like a sweet orange Crush soda to me and tasted pretty good.  No side effects.  The only bummer of it all was that the results came back with an elevated 164.  I was not pleased and right away began to worry that I would have gestational diabetes.  So, I had to take the dreaded three hour glucose tolerance test.  I'll tell you that the worst part of that test was the worrying and anticipation of it.  Again, I had read on the internet of women's horrible experiences with it.  So, I for sure thought I would either throw up, faint, or go into some state of shock over it.  I had even thrown a tantrum at the news of having to take this test.  Yet, it turned out just fine.  The glucose drink was a bit sweeter than the first one, but in no way aweful.  I truly think that if you go into it thinking that you won't like it and throw it up, you are willing yourself to be sick.  I just thought of it as a flat, sweet orange soda and it was so.  For the next three hours of it, I just watched a movie on the portable dvd player with my husband and people watched.  No fainting spells, or feeling sick.  I was starving by the end of the test but that was the extent of it.  And the best part?  Results came back normal!  That was certainly a roller coaster!

I think the stress over that plus the busy weeks I have been having at work finally caught up with me.  I got my second cold this week (My first occurred a few months ago).  No fun!  I am used to managing my colds with plenty of drugs and rest but I have been unable to have either. 

Yet, all in all, it has not been that bad!  I am still doing relatively well and baby is fine!  We even got to do the 4D ultrasound.  That was such an experience because I finally got to see my son's face.  He is such a cutey and I can hardly wait to hold him.  I really can't wait!

Week 26: Oh the Movement!

It's amazing how the time just keeps moving along.  Only 14 more weeks to go!  My latest focus has been on how much baby AJ is moving around in the belly.  I remember at about week 16 there were slight flutters in my belly.  It almost seemed just like indigestion or gas.  But not quite like that!  Now, the flutters are more deflined and stronger.  Not that it feels like the UFC Championship going on inside my belly, but he's definitely moving around like a gymnast at times.  He tends to move around most during the evening and night time hours.  I also noticed that he moves more when I have something sweet (He's a boy after my own heart ;-)  While it's definitely a new experience and can be a bit creepy at times, I absolutely LOVE IT!  First, it is reassuring to me that he is alive and well.  Before, I had to wait for the appointments with the OB to hear his heartbeat for reassurrance.  Now, I can get confirmation on a daily basis.  Secondly, it's a way for me to bond with him.  It makes it all the more real that he is my baby who is on his way into this world.  I find myself talking to him or rubbing my belly as if I were touching him.  Morever, hubby gets to bond with him in that way as well because he can feel and see him move too!  What an experience!  Nothing like it!  I only hope he doesn't give me a good kick in the tummy or other sensitive areas before he's born.  But, I am prepared for that given he's my hubby's son! 

Week 22: Oh, That Clueless Feeling

It just recently dawned on me the other day that I am pretty clueless about what to expect from here on out.  As I've mentioned before, this is all new territory for me.  All the changes and sensations that my body is experiencing is a daily process of newness and mystery for me.  Granted that can be exciting, but it's also a bit nerve-wrecking as I'm not always sure of what's going on...Is this normal?  Is something wrong?  What is that change that is going on with me?!  As I am a person that always has to know what is going on and what to expect, this hasn't been a thrilling experience at times.  So, to deal with the uncertainty, I will research and ask questions.  It can be helpful, but it can also lead to more uncertainty and questions.  Craziness. 

As part of this clueless feeling, the actual planning of the newborn has led to much awareness that I don't know much about newborns.  If AJ were a young child or an adolescent, I would know exactly how to prepare and what things I would need.  But a newborn?  Definitely not my area of expertise!  I do realize that this is a normal feeling that many first time parents go through and I also know that I will learn some things through educating myself more and through the experience of it.  Nevertheless, it really is an uncomfortable feeling to feel clueless and unprepared at this point.

Week 20: It's a Boy!!!

Well, what a feeling!!!!!  We recently had an ultrasound and had the great fortune of not only seeing that our baby is looking good but also that we are having a boy.  A son...what a blessing!  It makes it all the more real for me to know that I am carrying my son.  And yet, I somehow knew I was having a boy all along.  Way before he was conceived, I had dreams of a son, very vivid dreams...Can't explain it much more than that, but I had known from that point on that if I were to have a child, it would be a boy.  I can now call him by his name...Alexander.  Now, I can daydream of what it will be like to see him for the first time, to hold him and give him love....to see him grow and be a part of his life..I can only continue to hope and pray and take care of myself so that he makes it through healthy and strong...

Starting to grow!!!!                                                                              Profile of his head at 19 weeks, 2 days                                                                                                                                                                    

19 Weeks: Upcoming Ultrasound as Both Exciting and Scary

Can't wait for Wednesday...we supposedly find out how the baby is growing and the sex.  I have mixed feelings...On one hand, I am excited because I get to see my little one again and hopefully find out if I am having a son or daughter.  I am also looking forward to the affirmation that all is well.  However, I can't help but be a bit fearful of it at the same time.  I still am a bit adversely affected by my last miscarriage where I found out the devastating news while getting an ultrasound.  It really does plain suck to be scared from such an experience...Could I bare something like that again?!  Please God keep this baby strong and healthy....

Here's a website with info on the pregnancy at 19 weeks.

18 Weeks: I Can Finally Feel Like I Can Accept The Pregnancy

I know it has been ages since I have last blogged.  It's just that I have been so cautious about getting too excited or invested in the experience per chance I had a miscarriage again.  God knows that would have been devastating for me!  I think I would have given up all hope at that point...BUT, I am feeling much more at ease and really getting into this pregancy.  I made it through the first trimester!  It went by so fast, I still can"t believe I am in my second trimester already.  The first trimester consisted of fatigue, mild to moderate morning sickness, and some moodiness.  Other than that, no problems!  I can't complain compared to the debilitating experiences of many women in their first trimester, but I must say it's no fun being pregnant.  It's like being sick for multiple weeks with no instant relief in sight.  Whoever said pregnancy was wonderful or fun or exciting was delusional.  But, i must say now I am starting to enjoy it a little...I actually like seeing my belly grow!  I think it's because it gives me some indication that baby is growing and that I can eventually show the world that I am indeed pregnant.  It's also a fun topic to focus on with the husband.  I am also beginning to feel baby move around in my belly.  At first, I thought it was just gas bubbles, but then I realized that I haven't felt gas bubbles like this before.  The sensation is like a bubble bursting ever so lightly or my stomach having a mild muscle spasm.  It's deep enough where I can't feel it if I place my hands on my belly but it's certainly there.  It seems to be happening a few times a day for a few minutes at a time.  I can hardly wait until hubby can feel it too...quite a bonding moment!

I would be lying if I said I don't have any worries.  I still worry that this will all be taken away from me...that some problem will emerge that will create complications...I can't help it...it was so difficult to get here and so all I have are bad experiences to compare with...but, I must keep hoping and praying and trying to keep positive...

Well, next week we hopefully find out the sex of the baby.  I honestly don't mind either.  Neither does hubby...As long as he or she is healthy...but, i must say that I think it may be a boy while hubby thinks it may be a girl.  We shall hopefully see next week!